Noted Thursday

These are the things I have been scratching word shaped objects in my notebooks about:

1. Have you ever had a friend who you help and help and then they don’t need you anymore and they can go back to just being your friend? Then did you take a sort of undeserved superior air (in your head, you’re not that kind of asshole) and then she made you feel like a complete idiot when she nailed one of your worst habits down in a second? Considering that you are one of the most self actualized people possible, how does this make you feel?

2. Vaguely related to No. 1, how many times in your life do you find asymptotic behavior in everyday life. Specifically in relationships. I have a feeling that anyone ever widowed knows how tangent functions feel. You were infinitely approaching only to find yourself approaching infinity away from them.

3. Should I knock off the calculus and esoteric geology references? I mean, there’s metaphor, then there’s parable. Or should I just figure that most people are too dumb to read me and charge on?

4. How would this lead to situations reminiscent of No. 1?

5. Why do lists always seem to appeal to such a broad range of people? Really, look at posts on most blogs and comments stack like cordwood for some dumbass grocery list while well thought out and high quality writing languishes on the same site. I am mostly immune to this. Is it because of those things that concern me in No 3?

6. Last night I was more hostile and angry than I have ever been within easily accessed memory. Violence is still wrong, right?

7. God I hope so.

8. I should have thought more about God during Easter than I did, probably. Mostly, I have just heard the guy’s name drug into a situation fairly disgusting and inhuman. If he exists in some odd theistic way, he’s probably used to it. If you were God, where would you draw the line for your will and your wrath?

9. Would you let things happen anyway? Even if they weren’t your will?

10. That seems like a very emotionally secure God. He probably runs some other universe.

11. What if you knew the Bible better than anyone you knew, almost to the point of being a Bible scholar, would it add to or remove your faith, whatever that faith may be?

12. God seems sort of creepy and codependent in the Old Testament. He seems sort of over-sentimental and codependent in the New testament. Discuss.

13. Really, the asymptote thing is bothering me. I need some help.

14. So did the asshole who I wanted to kill yesterday and want to maim in some spectacular way today, but he wasn’t man enough to sit through those lame-ass VA meetings and discuss his feeling like a girl. Do excuses exist? (Causality issues.)

15. If I killed him, would that be some great radical expression of some approach vector to a diminishing, decaying end of my own life? What if he killed her?