Craigslist Friday
Maybe the lamest yet. Sue me, bitches.
It helps to me a nerd for this one.
http://washingtondc.craigslist.org/doc/w4m/692345896.html
Update: I will never, ever post as a female again. Jesus Christ, there are some pathetic men out there.
Ex 1. Obviously did not get it
From: Glen R__
Well I’m SooooOOOOooo cool !!
(referring to your statement “There has to be someone cool in this town!!!”)
What more can you tell me about this “ball” Cinderella (goth)?
Ex. 2 is just sad
From: LibertyDefender
Hi–
I hope you’re not a spambot. I am funny, I make great arm candy for any formal occasion.
I’m a young fortysomething DWM, 6′0″ tall, a fit 170 lbs., with a full head of dark brown hair, green eyes. My pictures are from last fall, but marathon training keeps me in nearly as good shape year round..
I’m tested d/d free, non smoker, non drinker, I have no problem being around people who choose to smoke or drink. I’m certifiably nerdy–roughly equal parts engineer and lawyer (I’m a patent attorney)–yet I’m literate enough to have on occasion been mistaken for a liberal artist.
You don’t have to take my word for it about my–um, . . . goth escortability. I have references, here’s what a former paramour–a rather together thirtysomething Architect–said to me last year as she was letting me down easy before she moved away:
“I did have a very nice time with you, I think you are a nice, funny, intelligent, handsome and confident person; we had fun and we seem to enjoy doing similar things, and you definitely know how to physically please a woman. . . . You were great. And it is clear that you want to be with a woman and enjoy making a woman happy.”
I’m local, I live in Fairfax City in a house with no roommates. I’d love to hear from you (unless you’re a spambot),
If you want my phone number, just ask.
–Your friendly neighborhood LibertyDefender
Ex.3 defies explanation (I had to save the formatting, too)
From: Randi247
You are like talking like someone half you age.
What gives? R U really 40?
U sound hot
R
May 23, 2008 at 10:14 pm
That was too funny. Seriously. I busted a gut laughing. You’ve got to post a follow-up with dude replies.
May 24, 2008 at 8:59 am
Done.
May 24, 2008 at 12:28 pm
I’m the biggest nerd I know, and I didn’t get it.
May 25, 2008 at 1:08 pm
I think this actually means you must post as a woman each week.
May 26, 2008 at 5:03 am
Ditto to GSR. Let us in on what you think women want.
May 26, 2008 at 8:22 am
Dr. K – This is nerdy in a different kind of way. I mean – I might even consider Shakespeare references to be more “dork”ish than nerdy. I will grant that the movie version of Titus – with Anthony Hopkins – was pretty badass. If you haven’t seen it you should check it out – and then you can tell Casey whether or not you accept his definition of “nerd” vs. “dork.”
May 26, 2008 at 11:26 am
GSR & Dr.: Interesting take on all of this. As far as nerdy or dorky, I have no idea. The Anthony Hopkins movie was fucking badass. Titus was always my favorite Shakespeare work, anyway. Short on the fruity bullshit dialog, long on the cannibalism. Interesting conundrum, though. Are erds cooler than dorks? And are they cooler by being less cool?
Cléa: Oh, I already got that figured out. They want me. Or the Scout. Either way, I’m digging panties out from under my seats if things go well.
Anyway. This line of commenting really makes me think of trying to post as a woman. It would be an interesting exercise.
May 27, 2008 at 9:51 am
The movie version of the play was mediocre at best. And if anyone did recognize Tamora, they wouldn’t have responded. Or I would like to think that.
May 27, 2008 at 9:02 pm
Shit man, I want a date with Tamora. Shit, I think I married the bitch once.
May 28, 2008 at 10:35 pm
Now- having seen dude replies- this post is just sad. WTF is wrong with dudes?!